Donald Miller’s book “Scary Close” is a pertinent book at this juncture in my life. Miller is a little more than ten years older than I am and I feel like whatever he’s writing now is the season I am about to enter into.
“Scary Close” is Miller’s year-long journey of dating and engagement with his wife, Betsy where he confronted his performance-based approach to relationships and learned the meaning of true intimacy. I felt like every chapter in this book spoke directly to me and some of my relationship flops I’ve endured, most recently in my divorce after marriage of over nine years.
In the past 18+ months I have learned a lot about myself, my bad habits in my relationships, and new kinds of tools and techniques at how to love and connect. What I feel Miller’s book offers is his own journey of real heart change. He sees relationships in a new light as he deals with his need to perform for other people to like him. He deals with different types of manipulation and control that people use to try to get what they want. The closing of the book are the days and weeks leading up to his wedding when things were all coming together and as he checked off all the boxes with his future wife, I feel like he also gives readers a good road map of warning signs and red flags to consider as you make decisions on who you want to spend the rest of your life with and making those decisions for the right reasons.
This book was full of great insight and nuggets of wisdom for anyone at all ages considering relationships and how to really love someone and learn to do intimacy the right way.