“What do you want to do?” #Inspiration #GoodWillHunting

Warning: YouTube clip contains NSFW language.

I love this scene! Will (Matt Damon) and his therapist, Sean (played by Robin Williams), are talking about the future.

This scene came to mind recently after I started meeting new people recently. I went out but things kind of flopped.

One flop isn’t going to stop me though.

It wasn’t fun, but it also wasn’t the end of the world.

Will’s therapist challenges him with the question, “What do you want to do?”

Will is a mathematical genius and he has chosen to be a janitor at Harvard University.

He can be close to academic peers without the fear of failure and abandonment. He sabotages a relationship with a premed student when things get too real.

I won’t tell you what happens but as a defense mechanism, instead of being vulnerable, Will gets defensive with Sean, “You’re lecturing me on life?! Look at you, you burnout! …You wanna talk about soulmates? Where’s your soulmate?”

“Dead.”

“She dies and you just cash in your chips and you just walk away?”

The most poignant part is when he tells him he could “ante up” again. It is tough love but it is also a turning point. Self-awareness that he has been running from this and now he sees.

I am starting over. I am going to “ante up” and try again. There is still so much life left to be lived.

What about you? Where do you need to “ante up” again?

What’s holding you back?

– Jason

10 comments

  1. What’s holding me back is a persistent feeling of guilt.

    I feel it, for some reason to conform with a personal morality that deems all things I have done, no matter how small, as a wrong. I feel all the time that I must do better.

    It’s a pain that holds me back from achievement, because I feel I will one day have more enemies than friendships.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Well, I certainly don’t know you very well or what you’ve done, but for me the first step was learning to accept myself for who I am. My failures and my successes, no matter how big or small, they are a part of my life and my history. Then day by day I have a choice to make. When I fall down, I can get back up and try again. I think for me something perfection keeps me from doing things or makes me afraid that I might fail, but when I live that way I miss out on so much. So instead, I accept my imperfection and I go for what I want to do, no matter what happens.

      I am not sure I am being that helpful, but that is the way I’ve chosen to live 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s a confusing emotion. The emotion of guilt. Because, I always question if what I am doing is enough.

        I saved a life, in my time, and my relatives are muted from my own life. I do not wish to tell them of what I’ve done to save this person’s life. And though none of was illegal or anything similar, the silence is still very miserable.

        Why do I feel this guilt, I often ask, when all I’ve done is good for this certain person?

        To put it plainly, I live a life where the action of saving someone’s life is believed by me, to only be met with words of distrust and contempt. Though, I’ve still no idea. Would they weep, or would they scorn me?

        “What I’ve done” is nothing bad, perhaps, though it seems to me like the world is not ready to accept such a way.

        And so… I remain muted from relatives and most friends.

        Holidays have passed for the last two years in utter monochrome, and for this Thanksgiving, I have had to remind myself that the Holiday is arriving, and family should be together…

        Liked by 1 person

      • My question is, “Are you feeling guilt or shame?” Guilt is tied to an action, something you did. You can ask forgiveness, forgive yourself and move on. Shame is more pervasive and tied to identity. It is a characterization that connects your value and worth to a failure in your life.

        Even if someone doesn’t forgive you or refuses to talk to you, you don’t have to internalize that. You can grieve it and come to a place of acceptance, but then you can choose move forward. Grieving can take time, work through each phase, hopefully coming to more and more acceptance of the current situation.

        Sometimes making new friends is a part of it. It is hard work. It can be vulnerable. But it can help you make the next step in your journey.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Good on you Jason. It’s been so inspiring seeing your growth. Even before I split with my husband, I was going through a healing journey, and a big thing for me has been owning my nonsense. Recognising why I’m being triggered and working to own the shit, and change it. It’s hard because it can get into over thinking territory, but I have my trees and meditation to pull me back again. Healing and being aware of ‘what is’ is the most empowering thing a person can do in a life time, I’m starting to think. I feel like a new girl with wings when I’m on my good days. What magic, hey. ☺️☀️🌈

    Liked by 1 person

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