last night i had a dream
about my 5th grade crush
she was smart as a whip
the girl who knew every answer
she was so confident
feisty and fiery
i remember one time
right before the end of the year
she asked, “why are you so mean to me?”
“because i like you,” i sheepishly replied
she rolled her eyes
the next year in middle school
she was gone
moved away
at a different school
the red-haired girl
who had taken away my heart
freckles on her cheeks
like constellations in another galaxy
under those brilliant eyes
piercing and glowing
pictures of her
forever in my mind
my thoughts swirl
dreaming of whatever happened
to my 5th grade crush
© 2023 Jason A. Muckley
Poems for Warriors 
Some great lines in here like “freckles on her cheeks / like constellations in another galaxy.” I enjoy the voice of the poem as well as it develops in those early lines with lines like “smart as a whip” and “feisty and fiery.” For some reason I really want you to return to that constellation imagery at the end…something about the importance of constellations and the distance of the stars. Not sure. Something to chew on?
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Thanks for the feedback. Some good ideas! Funny enough, I first started writing poetry in 4th or 5th grade 🙂
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The same is true for me, though it was song parodies for me. The true poetry came later.
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