“Every relationship demands an effort to keep it on the right track; there is constant tension…between forces that hold you together and those that tear you apart.” 

Dr. John Gottman

Dr. John Gottman is a psychologist and relationship expert. He created The Gottman Institute with his wife, Dr. Julie Gottman to research relationships, what works and what doesn’t and to help couples before things become irreparable to work through things.

I really like this quote.

Love and relationships are nothing like the fantasies in the movies, on TV or in books. There might be a hint of truth during the “honeymoon phase” but long-term, relationship require work. A lot of work. Sometimes uncovering a truth about yourself that you never wanted to dig into, but that is what it takes to stay in a committed relationship.

Love is a verb. It requires doing something. It requires action.

If you think that relationships should never have tension or there shouldn’t be disagreements, I would challenge you to dig a little deeper into where that is coming from. If your relationship can’t endure a disagreement, then it likely will not last.

Attraction, personality, and preferences about a type of person are all natural things that each person prefers to another, but after that, if you really want a long-term, committed, and fulfilling relationship each partner must invest with time and energy and effort to love the other. The work must come from both sides and it must be in equal measure.

– Jason