“But vindication has no power over guilt. No amount of anger or rage directed at others can subdue it, because guilt is never about them. Guilt is the fear of one’s own wretchedness. It has nothing to do with other people.”
― Tara Westover, Educated
This is one of my favorite quotes from Tara Westover’s memoir, “Educated.” It comes in the final words of the book about moving forward.
Forgiving yourself and accepting yourself are very similar. It oftentimes is about accepting your own actions and the circumstances you found yourself in. It is about coming to terms with what happened in the past and choosing a new path forward. There is a lot of work involved in making those new decisions, in choosing to do things differently.
You can change. You can make new decisions.
An important part of change is accepting yourself as you are. It isn’t about making excuses or ignoring the truth. It is about recognizing the truth and responding in a new way.
In order to change, you have to be able to see things as they really are. You have to be able to see things when they show up again to be able to respond in a new way. It is about self-awareness and empathy. It is about love, for yourself and for those around you.