“Sorrow does strange things to living creatures.” -Fredrik Backman A Man Called Ove

I am reading both an intriguing and humorous novel from Sweden by Fredrik Backman. The English version of the novel came out a few years back and there was a film adaptation in Swedish, which is free to watch with an Amazon Prime membership.

Here’s the premise of the book from the publisher:

Meet Ove (pronounced OOO-va). He’s a curmudgeon—the kind of man who points at people he dislikes as if they were burglars caught outside his bedroom window. He has staunch principles, strict routines, and a short fuse. People call him “the bitter neighbor from hell.” But must Ove be bitter just because he doesn’t walk around with a smile plastered to his face all the time?

Behind the cranky exterior there is a story and a sadness. So when one November morning a chatty young couple with two chatty young daughters move in next door and accidentally flatten Ove’s mailbox, it is the lead-in to a comical and heartwarming tale of unkempt cats, unexpected friendship, and the ancient art of backing up a U-Haul. All of which will change one cranky old man and a local residents’ association to their very foundations.

I am really enjoying it so far. I have found that I cannot put it down. A major portion of the book deals with Ove’s grief over the people he has lost in his life and his decision to take things into his own hands moving forward.

The quote above is actually in reference to Ernest the cat. But it is a beautiful statement by Backman to Ove’s own grief and his journey with trying to cope with it.

For my life, it is a good reminder. Grief for me has proven to be one of the hardest emotions/experiences I have ever had to deal with. I am blessed to have both of my parents still alive, and even most of my grandparents that I am close with are also still living. The grief I have been dealing with over the past year has been the loss of my marriage relationship of almost ten years through divorce. I am not denying that this wasn’t good for me, her and our kids, however, it has still been very painful and has at times led me to say and think things that I really don’t believe.

I find that coping with grief takes many forms, some good and some bad. I definitely recommend counseling and/or support groups to help you through with any type of grief, especially in a divorce. There are a lot of reactions you will likely have and many of them need to be checked by loving individuals who know you and care about your overall health for you to move forward through the grief.

I have found that grief must be moved through, not avoided, not sidestepped. There are no shortcuts. Most people say six to twelve months, at a minimum, is a reasonable amount of time needed to grieve. I found that after six months I had successfully navigated the first stage of grief, reaching acceptance for the first time, which then led to round two. More grieving, more processing, deeper work through my past, my struggles, and my feelings and emotions.

Round two has had fewer tears and less sadness. But sadness still persists.

Round two is a lessened version of the first round, but it can still surprise you, and leave you feeling in pain, at a loss, and down in the dumps again.

Don’t underestimate it.

Don’t think, I’ve passed the test. The grief is over.

Be careful.

Remain vigilant. More could be coming. Don’t be caught off-guard.

– Jason, Onward and Upward

Get a copy of “A Man Called Ove” by Fredrik Backman on Amazon.

Disclaimer: I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, and/or link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work shared here on my blog.