Get back out there
Get the rebound out of the way
She was a rebound
A ten-year rebound
It had to work out
We were determined to make it work
No matter what
Two ill-fitting souls
Deepest wounds
Moving towards each other
It didn’t bring healing to either of us
Now we’re broken more than before
My soul is like a complex puzzle piece
Without a complement
Jagged, jutting edges – sharp
I am only open to my family, my kids
They are the only ones who know
No one has ever truly loved me
No one has ever understood me
No one has made the effort
I am too complex, too deep
The layers are tough – thick
No one believes I am worth the energy
Besides You
I have had some healing
The surface wounds have mended
Internal bleeding persists
Isn’t that what kills you the fastest?
Without warning the body shuts down
The deeper I go the harder it gets
There are parts of me
That will never be seen
Exposed
Open
Revealed
Vulnerable
That’s what my healing requires
That’s my greatness need
That’s the scariest part of all this
There are windows – moments
When I feel safe
When I am free to let others in
I barely let You in
Don’t you see why I can’t “rebound”
It might break me forever
A mortal wound
I’m not trying again until I am ready
That day may never come

© 2019 Jason A. Muckley