“We search within lost souls
and through the lies for truth
The unwavering absolution that someone saw us
for who we are and loved us.” -Samantha King, Salvation from her collection of poetry “Born to Love, Cursed to Feel”
Samantha King’s vulnerability and honesty in her book of poetry, “Born to Love, Cursed to Feel,” captures both the fear and pain in relationships when things fall apart.
She speaks to making bad decisions and going down a road that both participants know they shouldn’t venture down. She speaks to people caught up in abusive relationships and feelings of being trapped in a place you don’t belong.
This short but potent poem about finding meaning in another person’s opinion of us and their love for us is particularly poignant. Something I have determined through my recent breakup is that finding my worth and identity in someone loving me as I am is a myth.
Poetry, romantic fairy tales, and the elevation of love to a pedestal of “salvation” is a dangerous lie. You don’t need someone else’s love and acceptance to find your worth. Your worth comes from inside. It is more about how you feel about who you are. It is really about how you see yourself. That is what matters.
What’s dangerous about the lie of love as salvation is that it creates boundarylessness and co-dependency. You lose your identity. There isn’t a boundary marking where you end and they begin. It leads to separating yourself for everyone else and attempting to find all your worth from one person, who no matter how amazing they might be, they cannot give that to you. No single person can. It also leads to a life where you are no longer free to pursue your own interests and only shared interests are of any value.
It is a wonderful feeling to be loved. Everyone wants to be known. We all want acceptance in spite of our flaws. If you find someone who loves you that way, hold onto that person, but don’t seek your salvation in their love.
It will only lead to disappointment and pain.
I do love Ms. King’s book of poetry. They are very emotionally deep, impactful and moving, but there are a few things I would disagree with her on. 😉